2/27/12

What's Really True

     I woke up in a panic at dark-thirty this morning.  My heart was racing and I was a bit disoriented.  It just took me a few seconds for my wits to come back to me and realize that all was okay.  I could hear the steady rhythm of my love breathing next to me and this helped my own heart to slow down and relax.  It was then that I sensed the Beloved's whisper and scripture come to my mind.  "The Lord is my shepherd.  I shall not want."  Yes, Lord ~ everything that I need comes from Your hand.   "He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul." Again I respond with a "yes".  You are the One who calms the panic of my heart gone wild.  I felt like responding in praise as I started to recount the many blessings from the Lord.  Family, friends, provisions.  A myriad  of pictures going through my mind of memories stored and loved.  As I laid in bed recounting, a song came to mind.  My son had just led worship at our church that day with this song (as with others).  I was and am impacted by the truths of these words:
 
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life,
I won't turn back, I know You are near.
And I will fear no evil,
For my God is with me.
And if my God is with me,
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Oh no, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm.
Oh no, You never let go, in every high and every low.
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, you never let go of me.

What is true?  God is near and will not let go.  I can say, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life".  I know this to be true as I know that I will take a next breath.  Therefore, (don't you just love that word) each day is an opportunity to trust in the One who is near.  We can boldly move forward, in His grace, knowing that this too is a gift from a kind and loving hand.

So, still no news from the imaging department for when I can get a CT scan.  Hopefully, we will hear today.  As news comes in I will let you know.  Thank you so much, everyone, who is praying on our behalf.  This is tremendous kindness to us.
 

2/23/12

What's in a name?

I suppose that most of you can understand why I named this blog "Inkling from the Shadowland".  But I thought that I would tell you what my thoughts are anyway.  In truth, Dan is the title maker in this house. He usually is the one that comes up with the good names.  So when Lydia wanted to get started on this blog we had to start with a name.  I had been thinking of the word "shadows" but that is about as far as I got.  When commenting on I Corinthians yesterday I was thinking about how we live in the shadows.  C.S. Lewis talks about the shadowlands saying that we live in a dream but the morning is coming.  One of the definitions of shadow is something without substance.  And then the word inkling means a hint or intimation.   This life we live on earth often seems too real as we see, touch, taste and feel everyday the joy and sorrow that makes up this reality.  But, in fact, it is not our home even if so many times it feels like it is.    Hebrews 11 talks about those who have gone before us "looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God" and "having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth."  Their desire was for a better country, a heavenly one.  We, like them, have lived and live in the shadowland, longing for the reality of heaven.  Where there will be no more tears, hurts, sick bodies and broken down relationships.  We are in the training ground being prepared for the next true life.  The morning is coming and it will be a splendid holiday.

2/22/12

Dimly Lit Mirror

This is the first post of my new blog.  My daughter, Lydia, has designed it all for me as I am really challenged in the area of computers.  Actually anything electronic can be a frustration to me.  Anyway ~ the purpose of doing a blog was, at least, two-fold.  I know that many are going to want updates on my health issues.  But mainly I have felt for some time now that the Lord might be leading me to do this.  I don't have any great wisdom or spiritual insights but I do love the Savior and I want as many to know this as possible.

In I Corinthians 13:12 it says this, "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully,  even as I have been fully known."  Last Thursday Dan and I went to hear the results of a biopsy done on me.  The doctor was so kind when he told us that the pathology came back with cancer cells.  He left to give us time to take it in.  We cried.  We have been down this path before and had hoped not to do it again.  But God's ways are not ours and even though we can't see clearly as to what He is doing we can sense the lovingkindness of our Savior who fully knows us.   This might just be a bump in the road or it just might be a very difficult journey.  Either way He goes before us to make a way. This is our hope, comfort and peace.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for the many prayers on our behalf.  We are blessed.