The days are getting shorter, not in actual minutes but daylight hours. There is a crispness in the evening air that let's us know that fall is upon us. The leaves are turning to various shades of golden/amber and rust. I'm starting to think more and more about soups and chili. Soon there will be a fire in the fireplace. Or, better yet, burn the brush pile and have a bonfire. Again, it is time for change.
I'm thinking of that song sung by the Byrds that goes like this:
"To everything turn, turn, turn
There is a season turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven."
Seasons.... Naturally we have four of them. But in a lifetime of the soul bought by Christ the number is dependent on God and the design He has on their life. We are meant to change and to grow. Sometimes with the growing first comes a dying. Actually, not to be morbid, but I do feel like I have been in a season of dying. Obviously, there is the aspect of the health issues that I have faced but also there has been some dying of hopes and dreams. If I didn't believe in the Providence of God this would be a sad state of affairs to be sure. But "for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" (Ecc. 3:1). So, as in all things, I want to make sure that my focus is on the King of the seasons and not the seasons itself. Sometimes this is easier said than done and there are moments when I have to speak to myself instead of listen to myself. There is a time for everything and Ecclesiastes tells me that, "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (3:11).
So, looking to the future, next Tuesday to be exact, I have one more chemo treatment and then I'm done. I would appreciate your prayers here as my blood counts are borderline whether they give me chemo or not. This is to be expected as the effects are cumulative. I do have some numbness in my fingertips and toes, also to be expected and hopefully will return to normal in time. We are looking at the end of one season and looking forward to a new one. This is not just for me but for my family who has gone through this time also. I am hopeful that what we have experienced in this season is for our good and meant to bring about gospel change in our lives.
Our God is for us so that moving forward is done without fear or anxiety. I say that today and tomorrow I might have to remind myself of it. Either way it is true and the Lord will do what is right. Seasons come and seasons go but the Word of the Lord will stand forever. I might find disappointment in what I wanted at a particular time but there is never disappointment with the Perfect One. It all boils down to this:
". . . . whatever God does endures forever, nothing can be added to it nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away." (Ecc. 3:14-15).
The season is changing and our hope is in the King of the seasons.
Judy, I will be praying with and for you. I love what you say, "there are moments when I have to speak to myself instead of listen to myself." I'm going to remind myself of that one.
ReplyDeleteDear Sister:
ReplyDeleteI have to give a hugh sigh after reading this as I've gone through this and am still going through much of the process of giving up what we had hoped for in our "retirement" (which I now don't believe was gospel thinking anyhow) years. But, Paul said it so well in his own experience, "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.", Philippians 3:8 ESV. How awesome is our God. How blest we are to be His. We can be so very confident that He knows our future best and He is for us, not against us. How I have looked forward to your insights through this all as they have so encouraged me in my own struggles. Love you so very much and am so glad that God is keeping you and yours through this journey we call "life". Jan