Rest

"Come unto me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."  ~ Matthew 11:28-30

For those of you who haven't received the updates from Dan via Facebook here it is in a nutshell (sorta).  Surgery, on the 22nd of March, went well although longer than the surgeon anticipated.  My recovery from surgery also took longer (3 hours) as my blood pressure was too low.  The surgeon was able to remove the cancer that was attached to my colon and put me back together.  We were later to find out from the pathology report that the cancer was indeed ovarian.  Monday, Dan will take me back to the surgeon for a check up.  From there we are assuming we will meet with an oncologist to determine further course of action.  The hope from here is that surgery took care of the problem and no further course of action will be required (except for me to heal).  This might be somewhat Pollyanish on my part so we will just have to wait and see.

I was able to come home on the 28th.  My family had been so busy cleaning, organizing most everything that pertains to our household and property that it was such a delight to arrive at home and see all that was accomplished.  And the food ~ oh my!  So coming home has been a particular joy for me as I watch all the beehive activity from the lazy-boy recliner.  I continue to heal and wait for the body to kick into normal mode (seriously ~ surgery gas pain has got to be the worst!).  I'm also supposed to rest which I do think that I'm doing relatively well.

But . . . I was caught doing the laundry.  Just a little bit and really the clothes were already in the washer.  I just had to push the buttons.  Well, I guess that I did fold some of the clothes in the dryer too.  I think that I might have also put some dish cloths away.   To rest is not as easy as one would imagine.  The mind is always going and the eyes are always seeing something.  What does it mean to really rest?

Dan left this morning for Sunday worship.  I cried just a bit as I knew that I needed to stay home and rest.  But I longed to go with him.  This is one of the few times that I have not been there to hear my husband preach.  I love to hear him preach God's Word.  I feel like I become more alive, more of who I am supposed to be.  There is the realization that it isn't the man so much (although I would rather listen to him than any other) but the message.  It is the Word that brings me life and causes me to change.

Considering Matthew 11 this morning I was once again reminded that it isn't the "what" we rest from but the "who" we rest in.  That's why I can be down hearted on my way to church for any number of things only to find rest for my soul as I have had my focus turned to Christ sitting in Lord's Day worship.  His yoke truly is easier than resting in a lounge chair.  As the focus is turned away from me and toward my Savior all the pain of surgery and the uncertainty of the future comes in line with a yoke that is easy.

God, grant me the grace to turn to Christ when I am feeling a heavy yoke.  Help me to exchange the yoke that I produce for the One you gave me.  Then, and then only, will I be at rest.